My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
try to milk me bitch
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