fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
