i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Damn victory sex feels great
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
