Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
