Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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