i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize