Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
