reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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