The maid of honor just puked.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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