We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
