She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
