I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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