super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
