Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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