her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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