...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
