I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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