he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
