i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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