quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize