WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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