he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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