Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
