I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I bet he comes in French.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
