I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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