Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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