My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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