lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
