lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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