In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
