There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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