Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
