I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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