I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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