last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize