there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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