I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
