Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
