Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
