I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Randomize
