I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
