the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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