you would pick up someone in the library
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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