its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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