sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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