? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
