She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
