oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
