Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize