why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And then he peed in my hair
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