Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
