Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
