Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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