he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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