Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize