Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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