This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
