some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize