I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
