she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
