don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
