i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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