People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we're making bets on your personal life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
