i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
