And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
