My liver just broke up with me...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
