Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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