At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
