never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
